Pakistan: First the bomb, now the missile.

Look up a map of the world. Find Iran, it should be somewhere east of Africa (the big yellow bit in the middle). Found it? Great! Now move a bit more to the East, that's left. You should come across another yellow-ish area with the letters Pakistan written there.

Excellent!

Now, let's talk a bit about Pakistan. Apparently, they just tested a ballistic missile. For those that are unsure of what a ballistic missile is, let me explain. It's basically a big rocket, that travels long distances, which can be used to fire weapons at other places. Those ballistic missiles that exist today usually carry nuclear bombs. Pakistan's missile can do that as well.

So, not only does Pakistan have a nuclear bomb, it now has a delivary system, the ballistic missile, with which to launch it. Keep in mind that missiles are not the only possible delivery systems for nuclear weapons; there are planes, submarines, ships and even satellites that can be used to this effect.

Iran does not have a nuclear missile. Iran does not have a nuclear bomb for that matter. It just so happens though that Iran is not a good friend of the United States, unlike Pakistan, and thus they must suffer the consequences of the United States believing them capable of manufacturing weapons-grade fissile material. Basically, if the US thinks they can build a nuke, there'll be hell to pay.

I won't go through the whole issue, but suffice to say that I have the solution!

It isn't difficult or tough to implement. It requires no five-year plan. Impossible, you say? Ha Ha, I tell you. And so, without further ado, here are the steps required to solve this problem:

1. Iran should declare that it embraces zionism as a legitimate and rightful ideology.
2. They should then recognize Israel.
3. Having done that, they should share their petroleum, and water, with Israel (and the US).
4. All those who participated in the 1979 takeover of the American Embassy should be handed over to the United States. Better yet, they should be rounded up, given a one-week trial (we all know they did it. They're on tape for god's sake... and they're happy about it, all smiling and shit!) and then be executed by firing squad.
5. They should pay the families of all Americans killed or kidnapped compensation for at least 100 years.
6. The present government should step down, and the Shah's descendants brought back to reclaim their rightful throne.
7. They should accept that the Persian Gulf be named the Arab Gulf. After all, there are 7 times as many Arab countries as them (with shores on that body of water).
8. They should pay reperations to the victims of the holocaust. (You can't cover your bases enough in the real world. Five runners per base is only a beginning.)
9. They should stop supporting all militias that they might be supporting anywhere in the world. Except the ones that attack communist or anti-zionist targets.
10. They should join the War on Terror.
11. American companies are to be given preferential treatment in their market. Tax holidays for life? Only the beginning...

These points should set them up for a good twenty-five years. Provided they don't get pissed off again.

Who said the world can't be changed in a day?!

And that's the way I see it.

Tags: Iran, United States, Nuclear Weapons, Pakistan